Angelion Insights

March 14, 2010

Tips For Tomboy Brides

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — @ 11:55 am

Have you always been the type of woman who is more comfortable playing sports than shopping for shoes and handbags? You are not alone – there are plenty of women whose style is athletic and sporty rather than frilly and girly. When a sportier woman becomes engaged, it can be like being suddenly asked to take on a very unfamiliar role, that of the traditional gal who loves things like ribbon and lace and monogrammed napkins. The trick is to plan a wedding that feels like you and reflects your own style and interests. Here are some tips for tomboy brides to get you started on the right foot.

The biggest issue for many sporty women is the wedding gown. If you are unaccustomed to wearing dresses or even skirts, donning a floor length formal gown is likely to feel very much like putting on a costume. No matter how beautiful the gown, if you feel like a fake, you will not be happy. There are many styles of bridal gowns, though, that can feel very comfortable to a more athletic or tomboyish bride. The key is to shop for the one that makes you feel the best, rather than worrying about what your mother or guests would like to see in you in!

Stay away from strapless styles if you are not used to wearing tightly fitted or formal clothing. A tank style or halter gown will be just as beautiful, but you will not have to worry about keeping it in place all night. There are many wedding dresses which have clean and simple lines without a lot of frills or embellishments, which is often more pleasing to a bride who dislikes frou-frou styles. Simple wedding jewelry like a classic pair of pearl studs is a good option, or choose wedding jewelry which is a bit chunkier and more modern like a heavy silver necklace.

Your wedding decorations should feel like you, not some other bride. Do not feel like your wedding has to be traditional or lacy if that does not appeal to you. Clean and fresh may be more to your liking. Informal flowers like daisies are a nice option for the bridal bouquet, as they have that great fresh-picked feeling. Wildflowers are another great idea for the wedding flowers for a tomboy bride, thanks to their natural outdoorsy flavor.

It can be really fun to design your wedding with details which showcase your interests, so let your sporty side shine on your wedding day. Choose a motif which speaks of your favorite pursuits and carry it throughout the wedding. This can be especially nice if your fiance shares your interests. For instance, if you love to play tennis or sail, emboss the top of your wedding invitation with a small motif in the shape of a pair of crossed racquets or a sailboat. If you and your fiance bonded over football, instead of a groom’s cake shaped like a football, have a bride’s cake in the shape of a football. Let the traditional cake be the groom’s cake, or simply have the special cake with a sheet cake in the the kitchen for additional slices.

Your wedding will be the most enjoyable for everyone if it feels like you. When you are a tomboy, there is no reason to try to hide your sporty side on the wedding day. You want to plan a wedding about which your guests will say, “Oh yes, this looks exactly like the woman we know and love!”.

Bridget Mora writes about weddings, fashion, and jewelry. For help with your wedding jewelry, turn to the design experts at http://silverlandjewelry.com/, where free crystal samples are available for color matching.

Vietnam Travel: Marriage in Vietnam

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — @ 3:49 am

Pre-Marriage Relationships

In olden days, chastity was strongly emphasized with young people being carefully supervised. As with Confucianism, the physical development of love was not highly regarded. Parents frowned on courtship and falling in love and thought badly of its advocates.

Marriage was considered to be a duty, and was generally arranged in a non-emotional manner by the elders in the family. Sometimes, mere children have been committed to each other for later marriage.

Formerly, couples readily submitted to the parents choosing their mates and still do to a great extent in the countryside. In the cities, they have begun to “fight for their rights.” Youngsters have more opportunities to meet each other these days, so often the role of the parents has been cut down to merely advising and counseling.

Choice of Marriage Partners

Certain standards should be maintained in the choice of mate under the traditional system. For instance, social rank, education, moral history, etc. should be similar in background and on as equal a level as possible.

The couple’s horoscope should be in accord and not conflict. Horoscope data has been deliberately misread on occasions in order to be able to tactfully refuse an offer of marriage. Usually a mediator works between the families, and if successful, is often rewarded with a present, such as a pig’s head.

Age at Marriage

Formerly, girls were often wed as early as 13 and boys at 16. Economic reasons often spurred on young marriages. For example, one family may have wished to have their daughter marry so that they would have one less mouth to feed. On the boy’s side, a wife would mean another helping hand in the field, plus the prospect of more children to work on the land.

Daughter-in-laws were considered to be “free domestic help,” and many girls were older than their bride-grooms. On occasions, marriages were held for very young couples to bring about alliances between families.

In Vietnam today, the marriage age may range from 18 to 22 for women and 22 to 25 for men. These figures rise to higher age levels in the cities where the Western influence is felt. Child marriages are not common in Vietnam today.

Rituals

Though many things have changed, the rituals have stayed more or less the same in traditional marriages. A description of each of the important rituals follows.

Presenting Gifts

This is often called “the crossing of the girl’s housegate.” It is a time when the boy’s family brings the girl’s family gifts which must include a bunch of betel leaves and areca nuts. Tea, cakes, and candies may also be included. The day and hour must be exactly right by the horoscopic calendar.

The procedure is usually quite formal with everyone dressed in his best clothing. Led by a distinguished elder member of the boy’s family, the family walks to the girl’s home. Boys dressed in black with red sashes around their waists carry the gifts on round red trays balanced on their heads. The bridegroom and the intermediary or matchmaker are also present. The matchmaker will discuss the gifts that the bridegroom will later present to the bride’s family. The date for the formal proposal of marriage is set at this time.

The wedding gifts that the bride’s family request will be given to relatives and friends of the girl’s family. The gifts are often sets of tea, candies, areca nuts, betel leaves, etc. These gifts are in addition to the ones brought to the home on this day. If the girl’s parents have a wide circle of friends, then a large number of gifts are required.

In addition to these, the bridegroom’s family must provide the bride with a trousseau of jewels such as engagement ring, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and perhaps even a certain amount of money.

Formal Proposal of Marriage

The horoscope must be consulted for the right time and hour, and once again the entourage of family and friends descend on the bride’s home in much the same manner in the “gift presenting ceremony.” At the home of the bride-to-be, they are graciously received with tea, areca nuts, betel leaves, and perhaps liquor being served. The gifts brought by the bridegroom-to-be are placed on the ancestral altar. Joss sticks and lights are lit and incense is burned. The girl’s father, the future bride and groom ceremonially bow before the altar. After this, the bride may withdraw to another room and her future husband may take over the entertainment of the guests, acting as a member of the bride’s family.

After a long period of conversation, the head of the girl’s family removes the gifts from the altar, thanks everyone, and divides the edible gifts into two parts, one smaller than the other. The smaller part is given back to the groom’s family indicating that they have been far too generous and that the bride’s family is not greedy. This also indicates good luck and a close alliance between the two families. Later, the other edible gifts are distributed to friends of the bride’s family.

In the past, the waiting time from this date until the actual marriage was sometimes as long as two or three years. All the while, the bridegroom-to-be was supposed to keep up his relationship with his fiancee’s family with generous gifts on many special days. Today, this waiting period has been drastically reduced. The man was not allowed to see the girl very often and then they were closely supervised. Should they by chance meet in public, the bride-to-be would cover her face discreetly with her hat. Instead of being dismayed, this made the future groom proud, as it indicated to all that his future wife was chaste. This old custom has changed considerably in Vietnam today. There are, however, those in the rural areas who still maintain these practices.

The Wedding Celebration

Horoscopes are specially important for the wedding and numerous checks are made, for no one would want to start a marriage off on the wrong foot. Usually the day before the wedding, the boy’s family has a banquet. Among the poor, it may be a tea party or nothing at all.

On the wedding day, the family of the bridegroom go with the groom at a specially chosen hour to the bride’s home. They all walk together in a procession which is normally led by an old man in dark robes carrying an incense burner. The groom’s parents and older relatives follow the elderly man. Next in line is the bridegroom dressed in new clothes and surrounded by his numerous attendants. They are followed by the brothers and sisters and close friends. Women carry betel leaves and areca nuts and offer them to the wedding party en route.

The procession on foot is common in rural areas, especially among the poorer people. It is a status symbol to be able to have other means of transportation in the procession and a great deal of money is often spent by those wishing to make a good impression on others. It is not unusual in large cities to see such processions made up of fancy cars bedecked with garlands of flowers.

When they reach the bride’s home, they are welcomed and invited in by the girl’s parents. The parents never come out beyond the gate of the home, as they do not wish to appear as initiating the move of offering their daughter’s hand in marriage.

After sipping tea, the head of the boy’s family makes a solemn formal request to take the bride away to their home where she will be a daughter-in-law to the family. Solemnly, the father or head of the girl’s family agrees.

Then the girl’s father or head of the family performs a rite in front of the family altar, requesting acceptance of the marriage by his ancestors. The bride and groom follow suit.

A banquet is often held at this point, but near the end, the groom’s family traditionally acts as though they are very anxious to take the bride to their home.

The groom’s entourage then begins the trip home in procession, with the bride and her attendants, friends and relatives joining in.

Little children sometimes set up road blocks and ask tolls of the wedding party. These are readily paid, as they consider it bad luck to refuse.

Upon arrival at the groom’s house, the party is met by the loud noise of firecrackers. The guests are invited inside with the bride and groom and another ceremony which honors the genie of marriage soon commences.

The genie of marriage is often called the Rose Silk Thread God and is believed to be responsible for the couple getting married. A special altar is set up and lighted with candles, and incense and joss sticks are burned in honor of the genie. An older member of the groom’s family leads the ceremony. He and the bridal couple bow many times before the altar, and a red sheet of paper on which a plea for aid and protection is written to the genie of marriage. This is read aloud. Three cups are filled with a clear white alcoholic beverage by the elder man leading the ceremony. The old man bows three times and gives one cup to the groom who sips a little of the liquid and passes it to his bride who also sips a little. The groom takes some ginger and rubs it in salt, eats a little of it and then shares it with his bride. This symbolizes that no matter what happens, their love will remain true. The sheet of red paper is then burned and the three people bow once again paying their final respects to the genie.

At this point, the couple is considered married and a party is usually held with a lot of speech making, gift giving and merrymaking.

Just as in the West, the groom’s attendants try to keep him busy as long as they can and play jokes on him. In olden days, the bride and groom spent their first night of marriage in separate rooms with their attendants.

The couple usually live with the husband’s parents, at least until children are born. It is expected that the bride will wait on her husband’s family, almost as a servant. This is no the custom with the educated and well-to-do class of people in Vietnam. They are somewhat Westernized in their approach.

Pregnancy and Birth

Except among young moderns, one of the greatest desires of the Vietnamese is to have a large family. Boys are more desired than girls and are especially important to carry on the family line and ancestral worship. A couple having only girls are looked upon by many as having done something wrong in their lives and are, therefore, being punished.

Traditional customs dictate that the mother-to-be must follow strict rules and observe certain customs and taboos in order to have a good healthy baby. She should eat only nourishing foods, but not so nourishing that they would cause the baby to become to big before birth. The mother must carry on prenatal education with her baby, acting and talking as if he was in her presence at all times, guiding and counseling him in physical, intellectual, and moral activities. Alcohol and cigarettes are considered undesirable for the expectant mother.

Pregnant women are often discouraged from undertaking heavy work and getting involved in tense situations. In some lower economic strata, this is impossible, but still desirable.

An expectant mother should not go to weddings and funerals as it is believed that her presence could bring bad luck to the families concerned. It is also considered bad luck for a pregnant woman to meet people about to set out on a trip. Mother-to-be should not step over a hammock lest their child be born lazy. They should not walk too much, reach for things high up, take long uncomfortable rides or frequent places of worship.

Midwives generally deliver babies and cut the umbilical cord with a piece of earthenware or a bamboo knife. The baby is then washed and dressed in old handed-down clothes of his brothers and sisters. Vietnamese people fear that the evil spirits will be jealous of new clothes and cause the baby to become ill. The father may see the child only after the baby has been cleaned and dressed.

Friends send the mother nourishing food, and the baby gold bracelets, clothing and trinkets. The baby’s hair and nails must never be cut during the first month of life.

Whatever possible, the mother is encouraged not to do any strenuous work for at least two to three months. Among the peasantry, they are often back at work within a few days, because of necessity.

Celebrations

After approximately one-month, the newborn baby’s parents have a large party to celebrate the baby’s first month birthday. Offerings are presented at this time to the “Holy Godmother” who is thought to be the protector of the new child. They also believe that the Holy Godmother teaches the baby to smile and that crying means the child is being punished for stubbornness. During the ceremony, a flower which has been wet with special water from the altar is held over the baby and the water is allowed to drip into the infant’s mouth. This is to insure that the child will learn to speak in sweet scented words.

After the prayers and ceremonies, guests have a happy party at which they eat the offerings of food from the ceremony. At this time, it is considered correct to put new clothes on the baby, but care is still observed in not mentioning the good health of the child lest the evil spirits become jealous and make him ill.

The baby has another celebration after one lunar year. It is called “quitting the cradle.” This is a much larger party with numerous guests. The baby is placed on a bed in a sitting position. Several things are spread around him including scissors, flowers, books, pencils, etc. The item the baby picks up first is supposed to determine his future avocation. If he takes the scissors, he may become a tailor; the book, a learned man, etc.

A baby is considered to be one year of age at birth and becomes two years old when the next lunar New Year arrives. It is possible, therefore, for a child to become two years old when he is just one day old if he is born on New Year’s Eve.

Active Travel Vietnam

Add: # 303, 3rd Floor, Building 30 Nguyen Du Street, Hanoi, Vietnam

Tel: (84-4) 944 6230

Fax: (84-4) 944 6231

Email: info@activetravelvietnam.com

Website: http://www.activetravelvietnam.com

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March 13, 2010

Wedding On A Budget!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — @ 5:58 pm

Many couples are foregoing the wedding ceremony and going straight to the wedded life.  Nowadays, with the economy in shambles and money scarce, it does seem a practical idea not to have a formal wedding ceremony.  However, in the United States, weddings are still in and the bridal business is doing well despite the financial crisis. The Bridal Association of America estimated the average cost of a wedding to be thousands of dollars!

Aside from the traditional wedding planners with offices downtown, there’s new sources to go to when help is needed for the wedding.  Other than a boom in online cash loans, the internet is full of websites dedicated to weddings.  From the wedding dress to the flowers to the fancy invitations—everything about the wedding can be found and even ordered over the internet.  Unfortunately, couples are taking the smart choices and are more welcome to cut corners when it comes to wedding expenses.  Many of them are counting the costs, instead of raking up debts as the special day approaches.  And they are right.  There are so many ways to scale back the wedding expenses as long as couples first discuss the right budget.  This means that couples should work within what they could afford for the wedding and try hard not to exceed the allotted budget.

In regards to budget, it is important for couples to list down the things or activities they want to include before, during, and after the wedding.  For instance, before the wedding, the couple may choose to have wedding parties such as an engagement party, a bachelor or bachelorette party, a bridesmaids’ luncheon, or a rehearsal dinner.  The things to settle before organizing these events are: what events to host; how much it will cost; and, who pays.

Next on the budget planning are the details that come with the wedding.  For example, the stationery to choose for the invitations, Thank You cards, and such.  Again, couples should make sure how much these things would cost and who will shoulder the bill.  Then, of course, the most important thing to decide on is the perfect wedding dress.  Finding the perfect wedding dress is thought of as an epic quest by most brides.  The whole ensemble—the gown, veil, undergarments, and shoes—can add up very quickly and bloat the wedding budget.  If the bride is on a tight budget, brides could look for a dress online.  Auction sites such as eBay or even classified ad sites are gold mines in which would-be brides could find on sale designer dresses or bargain previously worn wedding gowns.  While the couples are at it, when they finally decide which gown to get online, they could also look for sites that offer easy personal loans.  These financial support sites can process online loan applications in minutes, which is convenient for the couple who wants less worries.

Couples can still go on a budget when planning their wedding without sacrificing the significance of the special moment.  Focusing on simple yet affordable wedding favors, delicious food, and the wedding dresses and suits infuses a couples’ wedding with personal warmth.

Jessica Lang, one of the online marketer of http://www.cashdoctors.co.nz, New Zealand’s preferred short term lender, shares his insights on money matters. Cash Doctor also helps people in the long run by providing budgeting tools, e-books and individually researched articles on money matters and financial tips. The aim is to assist people in achieving instant and long term financial freedom.

12 months before your Wedding day:

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — @ 8:59 am

The first thing that needs to be considered when planning the ultimate wedding is how much time you will give yourself for the planning. In essence; this means what day that you will set the date of the wedding.

This may sound like a trivial matter, but it really is important because it will let you know what the time limit is for making your preparations.

Some weddings can take up to 3-4 months to prepare for and plan. This is pretty typical; depending on how big you are planning for your wedding to be and how fancy etc.

If you are not giving yourself more than a month, then planning is naturally different. Because of the differences in the time that you are giving yourself to planning the wedding, it is best to give the best planning methods and you may use them or not use them as they apply to your case.

One of the most important factors that go with planning a wedding is determining who you will be delegating specific duties to. For example, if you are terrible at choosing flowers, who will you assign to do it for you?

It is always best to try to give different duties to others so that you will not be overwhelmed by them yourself. Let’s take a look at some of the various duties that you can hand out:

• Catering: Who do you believe would be the best person to handle all of the arrangements for the food and drink at your wedding?
• Invitations and seating arrangements: This person will be addressing and mailing out invitations and making sure that people are seated in a fashion that will ensure everyone’s mutual comfort and enjoyment
• Decorations for wedding and reception includes center pieces
• Rehearsal dinners etc.
• Music and/or DJ
• Brides maid and groomsmen gifts and favors
• Gowns, and tuxedos
• Bridal showers/bachelor parties etc.

All of these things are usual must haves when it comes to a wedding, unless of course, you opt not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen in the wedding. All of these things can be murder to try to do on your own as well.

That is why you have to get in touch with people who are capable of taking over some of the menial jobs for you. All of these things seem small at first, but they can quickly add up to quite a bit of money when they are all combined together.

After you have delegated the responsibilities, you should next set a specific time period to have all of the tasks completed. Creating a to-do list and time sheet is a great way to do this. That way, when all of the tasks are finished you can easily check them off.

You should set up specific times and days to discuss the progress of things as well, just in case things are not going so well. In doing this you will be able to help make sure that all things are running smoothly.

You might be wondering what happens when you have done all of this and are ready to get started. First of all, you have to be willing to follow the general wishes of the couple to be wed; that is unless you are the couple and are planning your own wedding.

When planning a wedding on a budget you have to lower your requirements just a bit. For example, you can’t try to have to filet mignon if you are throwing the wedding on a fish stick budget. I have broken down the various aspects of the wedding planning to the last details so that you will get a better idea of what I mean.

Ideally, you would want to have at least a year to plan the wedding, but that is not always possible or desired. For the purposes of this guide, I have set up a 12 month wedding timeline that will certainly make it a little bit easier to host your wedding.

12 months before your Wedding day:

• Announce the engagement
• Set your wedding date
• Create a budget
• Hire a Wedding Coordinator (optional)
• Create your guest list
• Start brainstorming ideas and themes
• Reserve your Ceremony spot
• Book an Officiate
• Make reservations for your Reception area
• Book a Photographer and Videographer
• Book Caterer, Florist and Music (Band, DJ, etc.)
• Look for a Wedding gown and Tux, allowing time for alterations and fittings
• Register for gifts
• Select and call the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
• Agree on a date to order bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen’s tuxes
• Choose a destination for your Honeymoon
• Apply for passports, if required

6 months before your Wedding day:

• Finalize your guest list
• Decide on the timeline and details of Ceremony and Reception
• Order/make invitations, and thank you notes
• Make airline and hotel reservations for the Honeymoon
• Choose a caterer, a florist and place an order for the wedding cake.
• Book Transportation (Limo, Antique Car, Etc.) for wedding day
• Shop for any Party rentals

3-4 months before your Wedding day:

• Mail out/hand deliver invitations
• Confirm wedding details and contracts with all wedding vendors
• Choose gifts for your attendants
• Set a date and time for the rehearsal dinner
• Help make travel arrangements for any out-of-town guests
• Make final alterations and fittings for the Wedding Gown and Tux
• Set time with your Photographer for the Bridal Portrait or Engagement shoot

1 month before your Wedding day:

• Apply for the marriage license
• Buy your wedding bands
• Finalize music list and no-play list with band or DJ
• Attend showers
• Make insurance arrangements

1-2 weeks before your Wedding day:

• Schedule the rehearsal a day or two before your wedding day
• Make an appointment with a Beauty Salon for day of wedding
• Send a wedding announcement to the local newspapers (optional)
• Make necessary arrangements for name & address change, if any.
• Discuss final details with the reception Site and the Caterer
• Pack for honeymoon
• Write out all checks needed for wedding day
• Send reminders to the rehearsal dinner attendees about the location & time
• Discuss final details of the ceremony and reception with family and bridal party

Wedding day or day before:

• Visit your Beauty Salon for manicure and pedicure
• Host the rehearsal and dinner.
• Make sure the ushers have the final guest list.

Did you find this article useful?  For more useful tips and   hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to Internet Business, do please browse for more information at our websites.
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hi im shahrukh dhanani

March 12, 2010

Planning Timeline

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — @ 11:48 pm

The first thing that needs to be considered when planning the ultimate wedding is how much time you will give yourself for the planning. In essence; this means what day that you will set the date of the wedding.

This may sound like a trivial matter, but it really is important because it will let you know what the time limit is for making your preparations.

Some weddings can take up to 3-4 months to prepare for and plan. This is pretty typical; depending on how big you are planning for your wedding to be and how fancy etc.

If you are not giving yourself more than a month, then planning is naturally different. Because of the differences in the time that you are giving yourself to planning the wedding, it is best to give the best planning methods and you may use them or not use them as they apply to your case.

One of the most important factors that go with planning a wedding is determining who you will be delegating specific duties to. For example, if you are terrible at choosing flowers, who will you assign to do it for you?

It is always best to try to give different duties to others so that you will not be overwhelmed by them yourself. Let’s take a look at some of the various duties that you can hand out:

• Catering: Who do you believe would be the best person to handle all of the arrangements for the food and drink at your wedding?
• Invitations and seating arrangements: This person will be addressing and mailing out invitations and making sure that people are seated in a fashion that will ensure everyone’s mutual comfort and enjoyment
• Decorations for wedding and reception includes center pieces
• Rehearsal dinners etc.
• Music and/or DJ
• Brides maid and groomsmen gifts and favors
• Gowns, and tuxedos
• Bridal showers/bachelor parties etc.

All of these things are usual must haves when it comes to a wedding, unless of course, you opt not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen in the wedding. All of these things can be murder to try to do on your own as well.

That is why you have to get in touch with people who are capable of taking over some of the menial jobs for you. All of these things seem small at first, but they can quickly add up to quite a bit of money when they are all combined together.

After you have delegated the responsibilities, you should next set a specific time period to have all of the tasks completed. Creating a to-do list and time sheet is a great way to do this. That way, when all of the tasks are finished you can easily check them off.

You should set up specific times and days to discuss the progress of things as well, just in case things are not going so well. In doing this you will be able to help make sure that all things are running smoothly.

You might be wondering what happens when you have done all of this and are ready to get started. First of all, you have to be willing to follow the general wishes of the couple to be wed; that is unless you are the couple and are planning your own wedding.

When planning a wedding on a budget you have to lower your requirements just a bit. For example, you can’t try to have to filet mignon if you are throwing the wedding on a fish stick budget. I have broken down the various aspects of the wedding planning to the last details so that you will get a better idea of what I mean.

Ideally, you would want to have at least a year to plan the wedding, but that is not always possible or desired. For the purposes of this guide, I have set up a 12 month wedding timeline that will certainly make it a little bit easier to host your wedding.

12 months before your Wedding day:

• Announce the engagement
• Set your wedding date
• Create a budget
• Hire a Wedding Coordinator (optional)
• Create your guest list
• Start brainstorming ideas and themes
• Reserve your Ceremony spot
• Book an Officiate
• Make reservations for your Reception area
• Book a Photographer and Videographer
• Book Caterer, Florist and Music (Band, DJ, etc.)
• Look for a Wedding gown and Tux, allowing time for alterations and fittings
• Register for gifts
• Select and call the bridesmaids and groomsmen.
• Agree on a date to order bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen’s tuxes
• Choose a destination for your Honeymoon
• Apply for passports, if required

6 months before your Wedding day:

• Finalize your guest list
• Decide on the timeline and details of Ceremony and Reception
• Order/make invitations, and thank you notes
• Make airline and hotel reservations for the Honeymoon
• Choose a caterer, a florist and place an order for the wedding cake.
• Book Transportation (Limo, Antique Car, Etc.) for wedding day
• Shop for any Party rentals

3-4 months before your Wedding day:

• Mail out/hand deliver invitations
• Confirm wedding details and contracts with all wedding vendors
• Choose gifts for your attendants
• Set a date and time for the rehearsal dinner
• Help make travel arrangements for any out-of-town guests
• Make final alterations and fittings for the Wedding Gown and Tux
• Set time with your Photographer for the Bridal Portrait or Engagement shoot

1 month before your Wedding day:

• Apply for the marriage license
• Buy your wedding bands
• Finalize music list and no-play list with band or DJ
• Attend showers
• Make insurance arrangements

1-2 weeks before your Wedding day:

• Schedule the rehearsal a day or two before your wedding day
• Make an appointment with a Beauty Salon for day of wedding
• Send a wedding announcement to the local newspapers (optional)
• Make necessary arrangements for name & address change, if any.
• Discuss final details with the reception Site and the Caterer
• Pack for honeymoon
• Write out all checks needed for wedding day
• Send reminders to the rehearsal dinner attendees about the location & time
• Discuss final details of the ceremony and reception with family and bridal party

Wedding day or day before:

• Visit your Beauty Salon for manicure and pedicure
• Host the rehearsal and dinner.
• Make sure the ushers have the final guest list.

Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips and hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to Internet Business, do please browse for more information at our websites.
http://www.adsence-dollar-factory.com
http://www.100earningtips.com

Committing to Love and the Earth: a Guide to Green Weddings

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — @ 2:50 pm

Over the next twelve months, roughly 2.4 million Americans will spend 70 billion dollars (US) getting married. Green and socially responsible weddings can have a huge impact for the better on local economies and ecologies. Here are ten ways to express your commitment to the interconnectedness of life on earth during your wedding day.


1. Eco Engagement Rings and Eco Wedding Rings


It can take up to twenty tons of rock to produce a single wedding ring, yet there is more than enough gold available now for the entire jewelry industry. Some jewelers offer rings that are made from recycled gold. The ethical jeweler who has committed to using recycled gold will more than likely have a selection of conflict free diamonds or other gemstones that are responsibly sourced. Start your search locally, but realize that ethical wedding rings have not reached the mainstream yet and may be difficult to find.


Here are several online ethical jewelers, arranged by price range, for your consideration:


low-mid price range

high price range


Here is a guide to buying green wedding rings.

http://www.articles-collections.com/culture-and-society/consumer/ten-tips-to-purchasing-green-ethically-sourced-wedding-rings-online.html


2. Greening Your Guests


Consider reducing the numbers of people who have to travel for your wedding. This is NOT easy, but then again neither is a commitment to the earth, much less to your spouse-to-be. If you decide to have a larger wedding with many guests coming in from out of town, consider donating some money to an organization that offsets the carbon imprint of the travel.


Here is a wedding carbon dioxide offset calculator:

http://www.terrapass.com/wedding/index.html


Here are some US companies that offset carbon emissions:


TerraPass

http://www.terrapass.com/


Native Energy

http://www.nativeenergy.com/


MyClimate

http://www.myclimate.org/index.php?lang=en


3. Greening Your Invitations


Another reason that reducing your number of guests is significant is that you will also reduce the amount of paper required for printing. There are often save the date announcements, actual invitations, wedding handouts for each guest and then all the thank you letters. Be sure you’re using recycled paper or – if you can – use email as much as possible.


Here are some great sources for recycled paper:


Twisted Limb Paper – 100% Recycled Invitations

http://www.twistedlimbpaper.com/


Invite Site – Eco Invites

http://www.invitesite.com/


Green Field Paper – non-tree paper, 100% recycled paper

http://www.greenfieldpaper.com/


4. Your Green Venue


The marriage should take place somewhere that is beautiful, inspirational and resonant with your green values. Look locally for meeting houses, farms, retreat centers, community gardens, parks or a building that supports a cause you believe in. Further, make the location central to the majority of your guests. If possible, consider having two ceremonies if you have large groups of guests at opposite ends of the country.


If you choose an indoor location, talk with the building managers about the energy efficiency of their facilities. If they are working to meet LEED standards for high-efficency buildings then you’re in good shape. Ideally the place will have outdoor and indoor space, allowing for different weather contingencies. Try to choose your venue as far in advance as possible; the best places book up quickly.


Wilderness Weddings (location suggestions from the Sierra Club)

http://www.sierraclub.org/e-files/weddings.asp


Learn more about LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design)

http://www.usgbc.org/


5. Your Food and Drink


A wedding is – for the majority of the attendants – a great big party. Buy organic food that is, if possible, locally grown. There are now excellent organic, and often locally produced, wines and beers. Food can be one of the most expensive parts of a wedding, but this is part of your gifting to the community that witnesses your vows. If you can’t afford an entirely organic menu, then consider going with organic meat, or choose a vegetarian option. Another idea is to ask friends to help prepare the feast.


Local Harvest: Find Organic Food Near You

http://www.localharvest.org/


Green Restaurant Association: search for green restaurants for catering

http://www.dinegreen.com/restaurant_guide.asp?page=search


6. Green Wedding Clothing


To purchase dress that will only be worn on one occasion for the wedding ceremony does not make a lot of sense. Purchase clothing that you will enjoy wearing on special occasions after the wedding. Organic fabrics are still limited, but you can choose to purchase clothing that is not made in a sweat shop. You can also rent your outfit or buy something that was worn by someone else once or twice.


Get Conscious: Hemp Wedding Gowns

http://www.getconscious.com/


Faernyn’s Grove: Green Bridal

http://mycorset.com/bridal.htm


Rawganique: Hemp, Organic Cotton Clothing

http://www.rawganique.com/organic-hemp-wedding-clothes.htm


7. Gifting And Being Gifted


The experience of gifting and being gifted is an integral part of any wedding ceremony. You can decide to make your party favors environmentally responsible products. Look for locally made regional products that visitors from out of town might appreciate. People want to gift the bride and groom. Everyone wants their gift to be appreciated. So it is best to open a Green Gift Registry. Those who feel as if they have everything they need may want to ask that, instead of gifts, money be donated to a particular environmental organization.


I Do Foundation: Charity Registry

http://www.idofoundation.org/


Vivaterra

http://www.vivaterra.com/


Branch: Sustainable Design

http://branchhome.com/


GAIAM

http://www.gaiam.com/


Send Us Off: request donations towards your green honeymoon

http://www.sendusoff.com/ecofriendly.htm


8. Dishes, Recycling and Redistributing


It is more environmentally sound to rent your dishes and glasses instead of simply using disposable paper products. Ask your caterer to use earth friendly soaps when cleaning up. Also, make sure that you have bins for recycling all aluminum and glass products. Look in advance for a food depot or soup kitchen that can take the left over food and distribute it.


Nat-Ur Store: Biodegradable Cups, Cutlery, Garbage Bags

http://w5inter2.hivelocity.net/biocorp/cart/showall.asp


Recycline: Green Table Ware

http://www.recycline.com


Second Harvest: Donate Perishable/Preparred Food

http://www.secondharvest.org/how_to_help/donate_food/perishable_food.html


9. Support Your Local Economy


Purchase locally from small businesses whenever possible. Buy local and organic flowers, which reduces transportation and pesticide impact on the environment. Or consider growing your own! Hire a local band or DJ who does not have to travel far to your venue.


10. Your Green Vows


This is the most important part of your wedding ceremony and it needs to be deeply considered. Spend some months and meditate on what is in your heart and what you can commit to. Write it out. Talk to friends who have been married a while. Include life affirming commitment to living in balance with the ecology. I was married by an Apache Medicine Woman, and she had us publicly state what my wife and I brought to the marriage-our good qualities and our flaws. For my wife and I, this exercise in front of our friends and family was a powerful expression of our humanity. Your vows are also your opportunity to spread the idea of eco-friendly values to your guests.


11. A Green Honeymoon


You will want to go to a place in nature that can restore and inspire you. Many people are familiar with ecotourism, yet know nothing about geotourism. The Geotourists has opportunities to improve the places that they visit and have meaningful experiences of local culture.


Here are some links to sites that offer green honeymoon opportunities:


National Geographic Center for Sustainable Destinations

www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/sustainable


The International Ecotourism Society

www.ecotourism.org


Responsible Travel

www.responsibletravel.com


Travel By Train

http://www.seat61.com/


Green Hotels:


GreenSeal Approved Green Lodging

http://www.greenseal.org/findaproduct/index.cfm#lodging


Green Hotels Members

http://www.greenhotels.com/members.htm


More Green Wedding Resources:


Eco-Friendly Wedding Planning Magazine

http://www.portovert.com/


Ethical Weddings: Forums, Blog

http://www.ethicalweddings.com/


Green Wedding Planner

http://www.greeneleganceweddings.com/index.html


Co-op America: Green Businesses

http://www.coopamerica.org/


Green Confetti

http://www.ecoparti.com/toec.html


Organic Flowers Online

http://www.organicbouquet.com/


In CA: California Organic Flowers

http://www.californiaorganicflowers.com/


Conscious Living Tips

http://www.newdream.org/


Other Green Wedding Guides:


A Green Wedding

http://www.thegreenguide.com/doc/96/wedding


How To Green Your Wedding

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/04/how-to-green-your-wedding.php


10 Steps to a Green Wedding

http://sierraclub.typepad.com/greenlife/2007/03/10_steps_to_a_g.html


Guide to a Growing Trend: The “Green” or Ecological Wedding

http://www.americanbridal.com/gutogrtrgore.html


Wedding Industry Stats (2002)

http://www.theknot.com/au_industrystats.shtml

Marc Choyt is President of Reflective Images, an award winning jewelry company, www.celticjewelry.com that sells wedding rings sourced by artisan designers online at www.artisanweddingrings.com. His company produces fair, eco-sourced, fairly trade jewelry. Marc also authors www.fairjewelry.org supporting green, fair trade, socially responsible jewelry practices.

Affordable Wedding Ideas That Could Still Make a Dream-Like Wedding Celebration

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — @ 6:01 am

Planning a wedding on a small budget nowadays can be a very daunting task to do on the part of the newly engaged couple. Thinking for all the possible ideas on how to have a dream-like wedding celebration without costing you a fortune will soon follow the marriage proposal. The thought of trimming down the wedding costs without sacrificing your own personal desire do not always go hand in hand. The cost of your wedding can easily get out of control when you begin to discuss them all with your partner. However, with some creativity and cost cutting techniques, you can always have your dream-like wedding without a needing too much fortune.

There are great affordable options to help trim down the cost of your wedding. From your wedding invitations and/or programs, florists, musicians to even your wedding dresses, it is no longer a surprise that you can really find bargain choices that fits your tight budget. Merchants will quite often over charge you for the mere mention of the word wedding. These costs can be cut dramatically without giving up taste or style.

You can cut cost of your wedding flowers by ordering seasonal flowers. You may also use roses that are less expensive and are very beautiful during weddings, too. Instead of hiring professional wedding singers and musicians, why not ask a musician club from a University? They too can better create wedding tunes and the good thing about them is, they don’t really care if you will pay them according to what you can only afford.

We often heard of renting tuxedos for grooms and his groomsmen, but today brides and bridesmaids may rent a dress too. The wedding dress is a perfect place to slash the cost of your wedding. There are bridal shops where you can rent beautiful gowns at a fraction of cost. Or perhaps, if you do have some skills of remodeling dresses, you can make your own wedding gown. You may ask a bridal shop if they have some unfinished bridal gowns that they want to sell at a lower cost. Really, these ideas have really made sense especially what’s on the line is your small budget. Or, you can go to a trusted seamstress and get her to create the perfect wedding dress you’ve been desiring to wear.

Your wedding reception is perhaps one of the most expensive part of your entire wedding celebration. The location, number of guests and the theme of the wedding will tell how much will your wedding reception cost you. Wedding reception costs take a huge chunk of your budget and this is where creative planning will work in your favor. You don’t have to hire a wedding consultant or wedding planner if you have the some basic skills and determination to pull them all together. After all, it is your wedding so who else will have your best interests in planning your wedding?

Lastly, you don’t want to spend a thousand just to please all the people who are at your wedding. You You can save money by thanking your female attendants with inexpensive gifts for bridesmaids, as well as discount groomsmen gifts for your male attendants. And instead of giving out extravagant wedding favors, why not settle with cheap wedding favors that are beautiful and are as useful as other expensive favors.

Jnet is an author for a variety of lifestyle issues and topics including weddings. If you’re looking for affordable wedding favors, visit the website Americanbridal.com and browse their extensive collection. Find groomsmen gifts to make your wedding extra special!

March 11, 2010

A Very Big List Of Save The Date Magnets For Your Life Celebrations

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — @ 9:06 pm

Here’s a gigantor list of save the date magnets for parties, celebrations, and more.  You’ll find my added ramblings sharing detailed info regarding each topic so I hope this helps you out!

Birthday Save The Date Magnets:
it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to! But you won’t if you use the right magnet intives.  And it’s great having another reason to PARTY! Get your magnets out about 4 to 6 months before the party date and most will make sure they are there. They won’t forget, because every time they raid the fridge, they’ll see your party invite!

Birth Announcement Save The Date Magnets:
Leave the due date as a black space, send a little sharpie along with the magnet, and have everyone write their guess as to the date the baby will be born! They will definitely not take down the magnet off of the refrigerator until the baby comes!  A baby on the way is an important announcement for your friends and family, so get these out asap.

Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah Save The Date Magnets:
One’s for the guys and one’s for the dolls.  I’m not going to tell you which because that would be too easy! These celebrations are a once in a lifetime event for the Jewish youngin’s so there’s no reason you can’t spread a little Mazel Tov to all your friends and family.

Anniversary Save The Date Magnets:
A perfect opportunity to send off your fridge magnets is an anniversary, from your 1st to your 50th. Let everyone know what year anniversary it is and whether or not they should bring a gift. Some will want to know what your anniversary is represented by, whether it’s silver, paper, gold, wood or plastic (plastic?  Yes, plastic!). There’s even modern twists in these found here: Anniversary Gifts.

Bridal Shower Save The Date Magnets:
You’ll have your bridal shower, leading into the wedding. Making the fridge magnet pretty will certainly help keep it posted until the date of the event. Feel free to list where you’re registered and it will focus them to get to your stores for your gifts, ha ha!

Flowers Save The Date Magnets:
Sending flowers is a great way to say you’re sorry, you love someone, or happy Mother’s day. Add a save the date magnet and they can put it on their fridge to be seen over and over again.

Calendar Save The Date Magnets:
Mailing these off in December is a great way to keep this magnetic business card posted all year long. Highlight important dates, like holidays, or dates that relate to your business and you just might get that call from your potential client.

Graduation Save The Date Magnets: Use it either as your party announcement or just as a way of spreading the word that you’ve finally made it!  Whether its High School, College, Grade School or Preschool, everybody has a graduation party at one point in their lives.

Engagement Save The Date Magnets:
You’re engaged! It’s time to go into massive debt! Just kidding. But, announcing your engagement will let the important people know one of the most important days of your lives is on its way! You can add the wedding date if you know it already, too, and have this magnet work double duty for you. Photo Magnets Save The Date Magnets:
Maybe pictures from your twins 1st birthday, a family portrait, or even action shots from your kids sporting event. Regardless, these fridge magnets will work well to share your special moments.  Similar to the Holiday magnet, these are simply photos of whatever you want to share with people.

Holiday Save The Date Magnets:
Don’t use the typical, boring, soon-to-be-tossed-in-the-trash cardboard Holiday card. You know they are going to get stuck on the fridge anyway, so why not cut out the middle man and make it one already? If you’re one of those that write a biography on all the happenings that went on in your family’s life the past year, you can simply include that sheet along with the magnetic card.

New Address Save The Date Magnets:
Here’s an unusual use, but a useful one. Send them out when you move, and everyone will know where to find you. Do it early enough and you might get tons of offers to help you move!

Beach Themed Save The Date Magnets:
Having a beach bash? Be sure to let everyone know with your fridge magnets! Here’s a unique idea: Have a Beach-Ball party! You are probably wondering what I’m talking about! Well, your guests can come dressed to go to the beach…or dressed as if they are going to a Ball! you’ll have some in flip-flops and board shorts while others are in tuxedos and princess dresses. Makes for an interesting party, for sure.

Thank You Save The Date Magnets:
A great way to say thank you over and over and over again. Thank you cards get tossed in the trash but refrigerator magnets last a lifetime. Or at least a few months anyway.

Wedding Save The Date Magnets:
Yes, I’ve saved the biggest for last: The wedding announcement! Or more to the point, the save the date magnet. This is one of the most important of all announcements, because it would be terrible if an important person missed saving your wedding day, and thereby missed your wedding.

As you can see, save the dates are not just used for weddings.  There are so many new and fun ways to use save the date magnets for the important events in your life!

James is a party planner and fun guy.

CHINESE WISDOM

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — @ 11:58 am

CHINESE WISDOM

ZENG GUANG

To My Wife, Faqin Wu, Who Inspires And Helps This Translation.

 CHINESE WISDOM is the translation of the Chinese booklet, ZENG GUANG, the most recited and quoted classic which has been circulating for about 300 years. Since it came out, it has been spreading throughout the

country and ,as well, the countries where there are overseas Chinese. The scholars have been looking for its authorship but in vain. If you do need an

Author, then, HE IS ECLECTIC. ZENG GUANG takes roots in and greatly

impacts on the Chinese culture. Like an eloquent mentor who travels incognito and teaches his folksy sayings that are timelessly practical and enlightening, that are more acceptable and influential than the elitist words of Saints Confucius and Mencius, ZENG GUANG transmits wisdom, imparts philosophy of life. Many of His words are paradoxical and polysemous, which makes the benevolent see benevolence and the wise see wisdom. Just the ambiguity and mysticism give the book ever lasting vitality. Alas, this attraction has given me troubles during translation. Here I beg to have audacity to present my interpretation of this Great Booklet.

Chongding Zhang 2009

 

 

CHINESE WISDOM

ZENG GUANG

 

These are sagacious sayings of the past,

They will exhort you earnestly.

The words are originally rhymed,

They will help you see and hear more.

The present is well mirrored by the past,

Today and yesterday are co-eternal.

 

People of capacities are the treasure of the country,

People of erudition are its jewellery.

All walks of life , working or trading,

Should stand by the moral disciplines .

 

Being filial to parents and loving siblings

Are the roots of ethics.

Respect your teachers and honor morals,

Love masses and endear yourself to benevolence.

 

Money and properties are only mucky trinkets,

Benevolence and righteousness are worthy of gold.

Do everything according to Nature’s Rules,

Say everything in consideration of the people.

Your plan and plot should not offend the Heaven and Earth,

Your words and deeds should set good examples for off-springs.

The rich and influential should care for the poor and needy,

The young and healthy must concern about the old and weak.

 

Try your best to do your filial duty,

Not just give foods to your parents.

The grown-up crows will feed the old,

The lambs will kneel to suck the mother’s milk.

Far away from parents you may shed tears,

But they yearn much stronger to see you.

Lose no time to make your parents happy,

Don’t wait to offer sacrifice before their wood statues.

Treating your parents now with chicken and pork

Is better than sacrificing an ox before their graves.

 

Friends are better than brothers

Who do harm to each other;

Most reliable are brothers

Who protect you against bullies.

Your meat and wine attract many pals,

But in trouble you hardly see one.

Every time we meet, we get older,

We have not much time to enjoy brotherhood.

 

A good father-and-son relationship makes a prosperous family,

Amiability keeps brothers close,

Affability avoids quarrels among neighbours,

Harmony of spouses raises family fortune.

Enjoying amid flowers the oriole-like songs of your wife,

You disperse the brotherly wild geese in the sky.

 

Never do any evil,

And always do good deeds.

Know yourself as well as others,

Have a heart and enter into others’ feeling.

Reprove yourself as you do to others,

Cherish others like you do to yourself.

You can never be more cautious,

First of all, never go against your conscience.

Others may let me down,

But I would never.

 

Indulgence in fondness is the abyss,

Burning desire for profit is the hell.

 

Go with the tide but not be the slave of fashion,

Shun the vulgarities but not try to correct them .

 

Get to the very roots of your poverty and misfortune,

You will not murmur complaint;

Find out the reason for your perished honour and wealth,

You will not linger upon them.

 

Sitting at leisure in daylight, you should value your time,

Sitting at your ease at night, you should use the lamp oil sparely.

 

Reading ,you should be totally absorbed,

For one word could be worthy of gold.

 

Drink your wine with your close friends,

Recite your poems to the appreciative people.

Everywhere you might be known,

But you could only have a few intimates.

Every time we meet as it were the first,

Then we bear each other no grudge till old age.

 

If you have not done anything against your conscience,

Nobody will hate you in the world.

 

Living in a thatched house ,you may not be well-informed,

But you are broad-minded;

Having mountaineers as friends, there might be a breach of etiquettes,

But you are always happy with their truthfulness.

 

The glow-worms illuminate themselves,

The wild geese never fly alone.

 

The seedlings grow from the roots,

The lotus rhizomas come from the sacred lotus.

 

Living near the river you know the behavior of the fish,

Near the mountain you are familiar with the bird songs.

 

Through a long journey you know the capacity of your horse,

Dealing a long time with a person you get to know the heart of him.

 

For an unlucky man, gold will turn to iron,

For a fortunate man iron is gold.

 

Emaciated horses can’t stand the long walk,

Poor people are restrained and unnatural.

 

The moon first shines over the waterside tower,

The spring first visits the plants facing the sun.

 

Forgiveness is not stupidity,

Stupid man knows no forgiveness.

Some people don’t think their pail rope too short to reach the water,

They just grumble about the deep well.

 

We like best the water of our hometown,

Though it may not be so pretty;

We love most the folks of our native place,

Though we may not be related.

Kinship can’t be cut off,

Neighbours can ‘t be kept apart.

 

It’s easy to meet and be intimate,

But it’s hard to sustain the friendship.

 

The guests come to you and you don’t attend to them,

You must be idiotic.

At home you don’t know how to take care of visitors,

Away from home then you know about being properly hosted.

 

Before people, mind what you say,

Alone by yourself, mind what you think.

 

High aspiration starts to leave from Epicureanism,

Serenity of mind begins with simple living.

 

You have money, you can be outstanding,

You have trouble, don’t look for relatives.

Far-away water can’t put out the near fire,

Far-away relatives are not so helpful as near neighbours.

 

Two with one heart ,

They have money to buy gold;

Two with different minds,

They have none for a needle.

 

If you are not physically strong, don’t carry heavy load,

If your words are not worthy, don’t try to persuade people.

Listening to people like tasting soup, then you know the real meaning,

Dealing with people on financial matters, then you see their true heart.

 

The mountain brooks ebb and flow,

The unworthy people are cranky and fickle.

It may be easy to draw tiger and dragon ,but not their bones,

And also to know the faces of people ,but not their hearts.

Behind everybody’s back, there are people talking about him,

In front of people, everybody talks about others.

 

Just do good deeds,

And don’t care what would happen.

 

Slow birds will fly early,

Men of great talent possibly succeed late.

 

One man alone can travel hundreds of miles,

But one tree can’t make the woods.

 

In the hustle city, paupers have few visitors,

In the remote mountains, the rich have relatives from afar.

Human relationships are like paper, every sheet is flimsy,

Human affairs are like chess, every game is new.

The worldly people make friends with money-bags,

Scanty wallets can’t make friends close.

They could keep their words for the time being,

But they are only your fellow travelers.

 

Persons involved are in the dark,

The on-lookers see more.

 

The river at narrow areas flows rapid,

The man in an emergency is suddenly struck with good ideas.

 

Over-fed and over-dressed people tend to be lascivious,

Under-fed and under-clothed people are prone to think of robbery.

 

Moths flinging themselves on the lamp commit suicide,

Silk-worms making cocoons get themselves entangled.

 

In the river the waves behind push the waves ahead,

In the world the new surpass the old.

 

Man lives for an expectation of life,

Grass lives for a life-span of a few seasons.

Coming to this world , we hurtle like wind and rain,

Leaving this world, we disappear like dusts.

 

Earn money in hustles,

Make home in quiet.

 

You know there are tigers in the mountain woods,

Then don’t go to the tiger’s den there.

 

Even the lush and pretty flowers are afraid of aging,

How could we let people fool around?

 

 

If we meet and part without a drink,

Even the peach blossoms at the entrance will laugh.

Flowers were in full blossom yesterday and wither today,

Man with a hundred years’ life-span yet cherishes ten-thousand-year hope.

Amid deserted graves in the wilderness there are neither rich nor poor,

The floating clouds over the mountain have been changing since ancientry.

 

Being famous by royal favor without morals is an ill omen,

Getting wealthy in troubled times is the roots of calamities.

 

Life affairs are perplexing and unpredictable,

You just watch the world in the breezy moonlight.

My advice to you is not to be a money-grubber,

You can’t carry a cent to the next world.

Our flesh and blood like bubbles will eventually burst,

Not to say our wealth, the illusional bubbles;

The Earth is just a dust

Not to mention your properties, the dust in the dust.

 

Don’t seek immediate results,

Don’t vie for small profits.

High-flown fame invites jealousy,

Ultra favor attracts slander.

 

It is dangerous to enrage the masses,

And improbable to satisfy high desires.

 

Getting to the ultimate , things will go in reverse order,

Fully filled containers will be brimmed over.

 

If you get lost at a crossroads,

You should ask the way from the travelers.

 

Before thirty we look for illness,

After thirty we are looked for by illness.

 

Big wealth owes to fortune,

Small riches owe to diligence.

 

Blame your leafless trees,

Don’t grumble about the sun for giving no shelters.

 

The crux of a year is spring,

Of a day is dawn,

Of a family is harmony,

Of a life is diligence.

 

Choose your son-in-law by his spirit and talent,

And daughter-in-law by her moral and virtue.

Generally prefer a good character,

Properties and positions are matter of little concern.

From many splendid houses come starved ghosts,

Out of many thatched cabins rise higher officials.

Imposing mansions change their masters,

Magnificent gardens welcome new owners.

 

 

You could hardly defend yourself before a multitude,

One man’s applause makes negligible effect.

 

They meet and talk about peace

And go back and resort to military action.

 

A stout body could hide all ugliness,

A small power could move a massy thing.

 

If you are healthy ,don’t worry about your leanness,

If you have an easy life, don’t grumble over your poverty.

 

We can’t meet everybody’s expectation,

But could seek to have a clear conscience.

 

The rain is helpless for rootless grasses,

The ill-gotten gains can’t make ill-starred people rich.

 

Things in careless keeping invite robbers,

Women in heavy make-up incite lusters.

 

One-sided view keeps one in the dark,

Multilateral viewpoint makes one bright.

Hearing is misleading,

Seeing is believing.

One dog barks at the shadow,

Hundred dogs will follow the barking.

Don’t believe the extra uprightness,

Guard against the faked benevolence.

 

We could get near to a strange tiger,

But should not be close to a vicious person.

One who comes here to talk about right and wrong

Must be the person involved.

 

The life’s roads could be wilfully dangerous,

I just keep my mind balanced.

 

Clever persons always fall short of their expectations,

Simple-hearted persons could be higher officials.

People who wrap themselves in silks and satins

May have nothing to do with sericulture.

 

Never harm a big matter for a small profit,

Never use public opinion to vent personal grudge.

Never over- measure others’ weak points with your strong points,

Never be jealous of others’ capability because of your inferiority.

Never override the helpless with your strong power,

Never wantonly kill animals to satisfy your voracity.

 

You have power and you override others,

You lose power and others override you;

You chase a dog to a blind alley,

The dog will bite you at the end.

 

Seeing a beauty you are incited with lusts of flesh,

Your wife and daughters will be retaliated;

Bearing grudge you underhandedly hurt a man,

You extend disasters to your off-springs.

 

The first comer is the monarch,

The next will be courtiers.

Don’t think you set out early,

Others start off even earlier.

 

Put out the fire in your heart,

And light a lamp before the Buddha.

If you do every thing with a good conscience

You will not be startled by the knockers at midnight.

 

Pretty peonies only display views,

Tiny date flowers are fruitful.

 

With multitudinous stars shining

It is not as bright as the lone moon;

With a multi-storey pagoda lightening

It is not as rewarding as an illuminating lamp in the dark.

With a thousand drummers beating

It is not as loud as a crash of thunder;

Having hundreds of acres of land

It is not as good as having a life-work skill.

 

Wealth and good luck merely console you,

Poverty and distress forward you to splendid completion.

 

 

Ill-fated people have meagre fortune,

Big trees have deep roots.

 

If you have no uppermost intelligence,

You can’t see through all the vanities.

 

Hiding your illness from doctors,

You play ostrich.

 

An aspiring man can yield one thousand chariots,

A greedy loon will vie for one cent.

 

Anger is the nameless fire,

Forbearance is your enemy’s ill-omened star.

Bequeath your kind heart to your off-springs,

They will cultivate this tiny heartland.

 

Never try to hoodwink,

God is just over your head.

Doing evil things you are afraid of exposure,

In which there is good road;

Doing good things you are eager for recognition,

In which there are evil roots.

 

Paupers feel proud, though bluffing,

Yet maintain some chivalry;

Arch villains deceive the world, though extravagant,

Yet have not a shadow of sincerity.

 

Sweeping and raising dusts

You clean the floor and mist your eyes;

Opening the windows and letting in the sunshine and moonlight

You make the room and your mind bright.

 

At the thought of goodness we start to tame evil desires,

Eventually we’ll bring it to completion.

 

Observe your limits and be contented with your fate,

Follow the auspicious and shun the ominous.

 

Only Seriousness knows Falsehood,

And Treachery reveals Loyalty.

 

 

Men can’t be ever lucky one thousand days,

And flowers can’t keep fresh one hundred nights.

 

Physically aged, we are young-old,

Financially poor, we are aspiring.

 

With wine-bowls filled

You often have a tableful of guests.

 

Etiquette rises with affluence,

Robbery comes from poverty.

 

Newly rich persons don’t know how to enjoy their appropriations,

Lately poor persons can’t change their old style of life.

 

In the sky stars surround the North Star,

On the earth waters flow east.

 

Black hair can’t stay with you aging,

Time flies, you are already silver-haired.

 

Leaky roof always meets with rain for nights on end,

Broken boat often gets into the wind.

 

Released from shells , bamboo shoot grows into bamboo,

Struggling against waves, fish metamorphoses into dragon.

 

You are not arrogant, nobody would try to over-shine you,

You are not bellicose, nobody would try to outmatch you.

 

Things being cleared up, don’t nitpick,

Things being straightened, don’t overcorrect .

Be kind-hearted but resolute,

Be incorruptible but tolerant.

 

People being happy with you, don’t outstay your welcome,

People being loyal to you, don’t outwear their faithfulness.

 

Never be self-conceited and display your prowess for show,

Never do a thing casually to get windfall.

 

Accept your due no more than your share,

Cultivate your mind no less than your demand.

 

We get along with people without any deception,

And always lead a self-composed life.

 

With heart as warm as spring breeze

And empty wallet,

A man still compassionates the lonely and destitute;

With mind as clear as autumn river

And house bare of anything,

A man still slights princes and dukes.

 

We can walk hastily or leisurely,

Since our journey is only that much;

We can gain smoothly or adversely,

For in the end all is in vain.

 

For the living, you don’t need to identify their souls,

For the dead, you don’t need to distinguish their corpses.

 

Good words are hard to come by,

Vicious remarks are easy to start.

 

Exquisite jade is commercial,

But you should wait for good price.

 

The clay steamer is broken,

What can you do to look back?

 

Heroes are walking up to dangers,

Honors are vase bouquets.

 

Be careful to say the relationship is as warm as spring,

For fear that Fall would bring you cold.

 

Parents with profound feelings will leave us eventually,

Spouses with deep love will part in the end.

Living a life is like birds staying together in the woods

And scattering hurriedly when the doomsday comes near.

In time serve your parents with delicious foods,

The setting sun will not linger long.

 

Honest people could easily be bullied,

Docile horses could easily be ridden.

Villains are fearsome to people but not the Heaven,

Well-doers are bullied by villains but helped by God.

The benignant and the villainous will get their returns at long last,

The retribution will happen sooner or later.

 

The dragon swimming in shallows is mocked by shrimps,

The tiger strolling in the open country is overborne by dogs.

 

Just watch how long the evil will run amuck,

Like watching crabs creeping sideways with a cold eye.

 

Some day the Yellow River will be clear,

How can a man not have his day?

A scholar could study a dozen years without an acquaintance,

Once he passed the imperial examinations he would be renowned.

 

A sparrow could never appreciate a swan’s aspiration,

A tiger could never bend to a dog’s bully.

 

Our doings and writings will sink into oblivion

Along with our ashes,

But our spirits will be immortal;

Our honors and wealth are marked with vicissitudes

From generation to generation,

But our moral courage will stand firm through the ages.

 

Highly favored, you should think of the possible humiliation,

Safely comfortable, you should consider some unexpected danger.

 

The country in chaos, people miss good premiers,

The family in poverty, people miss good wives.

 

Favorites are waited by humiliatiion,

Paupers are followed by fortune.

People always win their renown when poor,

And fail when satisfied.

 

Prostitutes get married in their late years,

Their life on the streets affects nothing;

White-haired women of chastity lose their widow constancy,

Their life of lonely suffering comes to nothing.

 

Mind your own business,

Having nothing to do ,go home early.

 

You may dye the counterfeit satin really red,

But people will show their different judgments.

 

Use the wine as a key to unlock your knitted brows,

And not the heart as a loom to weave grey hair at your temples.

Better not make one-thousand-year plans,

Life is full of vicissitudes.

 

Autumn insects and spring birds

All enjoy Nature’s bestowal,

Why should we feel too glad or too sorry for them?

Old trees and young flowers

All have their vitalities,

Why should we distinguish the pretty from the ugly?

 

If you promise someone something,

Never revoke even for precious gold.

Once you say a word,

The fastest horse can’t take it back.

 

Extremely miserly parents

Will have extravagant children;

Families of moral excellence

Will have worthy off-springs.

 

Everyday we should examine our thoughts,

And every night we should feel watched by beings divine and human.

 

Be versatile but devote to your expectations,

Be inquisitive but think deeply by yourself.

If you don’t work hard when you are young,

You will regret in vain when old.

 

Miserly parents can’t educate their children,

Partial parents can’t find good teachers.

You should know children are worthy of education,

Never say they are ignorant.

The first on the Proclamation of the Imperial Final Examinations

Will be high official closest to the Emperor.

 

To cultivate the mind,

You should be unmoved like wood and stone,

With a little conceit you will fall into indulgence;

To minister state affairs,

you should be detached like floating clouds and flowing water,

With a little avarice you will be netted in crisis.

 

Uncorruptible officials’ secretaries are poor and thin,

Blessing deities’ attendants are affluent and stout.

 

 

If you want to hide what you do,

The only way is not to do it.

Sitting by yourself, often think of your faults,

Chatting with people, make no comments on others’ mistakes.

 

Making friends should be like painters seeking after light style,

In a lovely hamlet quiet neighbors do not yell at chickens.

 

Don’t listen to the oriole’s provocative songs by the window,

She is trampling on the flowers of you love.

 

All my life I like most the silent fish

Swimming and causing no troubles in rivers and lakes.

 

Untroubled, alert yourself as if you would get into trouble,

Then you can cope with the unexpected;

Troubled, be composed as if everything is OK;

Then you can turn the tide.

 

Three of us walk together,

There should be my teacher.

I will follow the good turn,

And correct the bad habit.

 

The good way to cultivate your mind is to live an ascetic life,

With no perseverance you can’t pray and cure people.

 

Fooling around with ruffians

Later you will be put to troubles;

With the experienced near at hand

You will have people to rely on.

 

Say from your heart,

Never dupe people ,old or young.

The man who has a merciful heart

Will be protected by the Heaven.

 

Having committed errors, fear not to mend,

All alone, be not self-deceived.

 

People who fawn on me are robbing me,

People who criticize me are educating me.

 

Seeing the front courtyard we know whether people there are diligent or not,

Drinking their tea we know what kind of wife the host has.

 

Aged parents running about must have no filial children,

Well-dressed kids must have loving mothers.

We don’t need to ask about the host’s ups and downs of life,

From his face we could guess right.

 

We bring up children for our venerable age,

And keep grain in store for possible famine.

 

In the days of affluence we should think of the needy days,

And not vainly cherish the nostalgia when we are have-nots.

Satisfaction with no greed is the steady way of life,

Taking advantage of others is the way to suffering.

 

Stop drinking your delicious wine when you get tipsy,

Cease to enjoy the pretty flowers before they are in full bloom.

 

Don’t grow thorny brushes by the roadsides,

They could tatter the clothes of your off-springs.

 

Expecting help from the Heaven,

We should think of what we do;

Appealing for others’ aid,

We should consider what we give.

 

You crave for meats of animals,

You will hurt your conscience;

You take advantage of others,

You will be punished by Nature.

 

Being a monk and constant in faith,

Surely you will become a Buddha.

To do Buddhist cultivation,

Clear your mind from past-present-future consciousness,

Free from visions of yourself and others.

Adhering to nothingness means the roots of somethingness are not cut off;

Concentrating on staticness means the buds of motion are not hoed up.

 

While the snipe snips the clam and the latter clamps the former

The fisherman profits from the uncompromising struggle;

When the city gateway is on fire,

The fish in the ditch will not be saved from the disaster.

 

A man without trustworthiness

Is devoid of everything .

Someone may spout about saints and sages,

He may have a looter’s heart.

One who doesn’t like to practice what he learns

Is like beasts of burden learning to dress well.

 

If you want to have riches and honor,

You should be a painstaker.

Since the field has been tilled and sown,

Now is the time for study.

 

Associate with people better than you,

Friends similar at all points are not helpful.

A talk with a wise man

Is better than ten years’ booklore.

 

Ask help from the bounteous,

Render help to the needy.

For a thirsty man a drop of water is manna,

For a drunken man a cup more is none.

 

Do things with a good conscience,

Treat people the way you would be treated.

Ideas of harming people should never come into mind,

Ideas of preventing wrong-doers should never leave behind.

 

 

 

A true gentleman doesn’t let slip improper words when drunken,

A manly person is fair on money matters.

Hospitable persons brew delicious wine for guests,

Bookish persons expend their money on publications.

 

Bamboo fence and thatched house make tasteful scenery,

Taoist and Buddhist temples are not on a par with it.

All delicacies and homely vegetables are the same

After we put down our chopsticks;

Gold and jade ornaments are not different from debris

After we return to ashes.

 

The ancient people of virtue and renown sneered at official caps,

They disdained to serve the marquis;

Getting acquainted, yet they sheathed their swords

For fear of implication into darkness.

 

Favored , he is your bosom friend,

Disfavored, he would bear you grudge.

 

Younglings indulging in sexual desires

Very likely will die middle-aged.

 

If the water is the purest,

No fish will live there;

If the master is too picky,

No man will be his disciple.

 

Stupid husbands fear their wives,

Virtuous wives respect their husbands.

Absorbed in your family riches,

You would neglect your brotherly affection.

 

Rather be less upright

Than more crooked.

Earnestness makes things easy,

Dishonesty makes things hard.

Every day there is a lot of gossips,

But there is none if you don’t listen.

 

A long stay bores the host,

Frequent visits dilute the friendship.

You can see just within a few days,

The second meeting differs from the first.

Human feelings are like flowing water ever lowering,

Life affairs are like floating clouds drifted by wind.

 

One-hundred-year construction is not enough,

One-day destruction is more unbearable.

 

Educate your children from their foetus period,

Start to make them behave well at primary stage.

Rearing sons without education is raising donkeys,

Rearing daughters without education is feeding pigs.

With the land uncultivated, the granary is empty,

With the books unread, your off-springs are stupid;

Empty granary will leave you destitute,

Stupid off-springs will neglect rites and obligations.

 

In the world there is a sea of men,

But only a few are really manly.

 

To have fine descendants, we should increase our virtues,

To enhance the nobility, we should study hard.

 

Salvation of a life

Is better than building a seven-storey pagoda for Buddha.

Accumulation of large wealth

Is not as good as reading Confucian classics.

 

Quietly watching things in motion,

Leisurely seeing people on the run,

You can find the unearthly interest;

Getting relaxed in hustle and bustle,

Keeping calm in mobility,

You can be settled and get on well.

 

Teach your children in their babyhood,

Inspire your wife in the bridal chamber.

 

Be smart at heart ,

And silly in appearance.

Parading wits

Will stir up disasters.

 

Toleration is beneficial,

Forbearance is profitable.

 

Wealth starts from small accumulation,

Poverty comes from miscalculation.

 

Don’t stab people in the back,

Be cute but a little dull-witted.

 

The magisterial gate is wide-open like splay feet,

Poor people in the right will not cross its threshold.

 

Disasters do happen unexpectedly,

No people are exempted from them.

 

Don’t be unkind and harsh to your subordinates,

Otherwise serviceable people will leave;

Don’t associate with unworthies,

Otherwise the fawners will come.

 

 

Wealth is the source of grudge,

Greed is the embryo of disaster.

Gladness should not go to extremes,

Its extremity will turn to sadness;

Desire should not run amuck,

Its indulgence will turn to disaster.

 

One hundred years flee hurry-scurry,

Youthful years go for good.

 

Live ascetic, live energetic,

Worry a lot , weaken a lot.

Our silver hair urges us to leave,

Tons of gold can’t redeem the days spent.

 

Fortune hard-earned is real fortune,

Wit not self-imposed is real wit.

 

Disease for life starts usually from the wedding day;

World-famed merits are often achieved at old age.

 

 

Seeing is easy,

Learning is hard.

You may gain something easily,

But you can’t treat it lightly.

 

Debauchery is the number one vice,

Filiality is the foremost kindness.

A virtuous wife’s husband hardly encounters troubles,

A filial son’s father has little worry.

Helping our parents, we should not fall short of their expectation,

Loving our children, we should not let them loaf away their time.

Precious gold and jade are not the things to seek after,

But the sagacious off-springs are.

Methinks the road before my parents is not so long,

I must make time to wait upon them.

Bumper sacrifice is not as good as proper provision,

Late regret is not as good as early respect.

 

Flowers show off their springtime beauty,

Rain and wind send them to dusts;

Bamboos keep their refined integrity,

Snow and frost can’t bend their proud heads.

 

Consider what you have done before you say,

And what you have said before you act.

 

Man makes the start,

Heaven decides the end.

 

Improper words

Hurt like cutting flesh.

Massacring ten thousand people

Three thousand killers will die at least.

 

Hitting flint, you see sparks,

Aggravating grudge, you see rancour.

Tolerance augments virtues,

Asceticism nurtures peace of mind.

 

To avoid suspicion, neither tighten your shoe-lace in the melon field,

Nor adjust your cap under the plum tree.

 

Lack of learning incurs mistakes,

Hardiness makes things easy.

 

On the heads of dauntless generals and ministers

We might ride horseback,

In the stomachs of broadminded dukes and marquises

We might have boat race.

 

Though poor, save our books for the children,

Though advanced in age, plant bamboos for others.

Raise no hue and cry in the world,

Just leave virtues after you.

 

Don’t repulse a person’s opinion in which people are divided,

Don’t repudiate others because you don’t see eye to eye in views.

 

Opening up a step way

At the precipitous spot,

We see a broad road;

Giving a little support

In hard times,

We feel easy at heart.

 

Some people are too anxious to know the truth,

You just wait and they will be clear,

Lest you could stir up more enmity;

Some are too yearning to follow you,

You just let them go and they will change,

Lest you would arouse more resistance.

 

People are in different walks of life,

But they all need a way to support their families.

Some are natural and carefree

Seeking noble-mindedness;

Some are upright and proud

Defying any pity.

 

He is impatient but not me,

I am at leisure but not my mind.

 

The rich plan for next year,

The poor plan for today.

 

Haste makes waste,

Drunks talk truth.

 

Catching a tiger on the mountain is easy,

Advising a person is demanding.

 

If you are not a punter,

Then don’t handle the punt-pole.

 

A good word makes the cold winter warm,

An improper word makes warm June cold.

 

Chums reveal their secrets to their understanding friends,

Cronies keep their words inside their circle.

 

Scandals ruin true gentlemen,

Debaucheries wreck wanton youngsters.

 

You make fusses , you make mistakes,

Things reflected, things complicated.

 

 

Only there are willows to tie your horse to,

Every road leads to Imperial Capital.

 

Like mowing new grasses ,

Stamping out a new-sprung desire

Is an easy job,

If you set it loose

And get profited for the time being,

You will be in the suffering abyss;

Like glossing the bronze mirror ,

Cultivating a new-born Heavenly Conscience

Is to increase the mind’s brightness,

If you are discouraged and held off a little,

You are miles apart from completion.

 

The wind having subsided,

Don’t stir the water;

The bank having reached,

Leave the boat.

 

Hide evils and praise good deeds,

Act discreetly and speak cautiously.

 

Be unworldly when we are alone,

Be kind when associate with others,

Be humble when we succeed,

Be self-collected when we are disappointed,

Be young-old, though aged,

Be confident, though poor.

 

Once you have passed the Imperial Examinations,

Your humble thatched house will be an attraction;

Once the money in the drawer is used up,

Even a valiant hero feels humiliated.

 

From thrift to luxury is a happy gain,

And the reverse is a nasty pain.

Habits formed in childhood are like born disposition,

Accustomed acquirements are like innate talent.

 

Hosts should use simple utensils,

Guests should not linger about after dinner.

 

Withered trees will germinate in spring,

Young blood can never be enjoyed the second time.

 

A young person who controls desires has good and healthy looks,

An aged person who doesn’t pursue officialdom has relaxing dreams.

 

There are books I have not read,

There is nothing I can not tell people.

 

Sharing assets among relatives,

The widowed should be favored;

To senior and junior relatives,

Equal disciplines should be applied .

 

A grain in gruel or congee

Tells us the hardships for producing;

A thread of silk or cotton

Reminds us of the labour spent.

 

Learned men are knowledgeable,

Unlearned men are good for nothing.

Stupid persons are obstinate,

Despicable persons are arbitrary.

 

Really wealthy people keep books,

Quasi-immortals keep aloof from troubles.

 

The solitary cloud drifts to and fro above the mountain

Being carefree;

The bright moon hangs in the serene sky

Disregarding comeliness and homeliness.

 

Doing good things, you may be poor,

But facing disasters, you will be rich.

At good-and-evil junctures you must make right choice,

A mistake then may seal your doom forever.

 

Cultivation of virtues is like piling up earth to make a hill,

One basket less will spoil the whole project;

Tolerance towards people should be like the sea,

Ever accepting tributaries.

 

Doing good things you have great enjoyment,

Doing bad things you incur punishment.

 

Keeping the army for a thousand days,

The country might use it for one day.

 

Incorrupt countries value intellectuals

Wealthy families pamper children.

 

Upright men serve understanding friends,

Moral men remain the same under all weathers.

 

If not helped by the fisherman,

How could I see the gigantic waves.

 

We notice their sword -like words,

But not the dagger hidden in their sleeves.

 

Silkworm spins silk to the death,

Calumny incurs lasting grudges.

 

In the depth of mountain, tigers are not fearsome,

But double-dealers really are.

 

The silver hair is just and fair,

It creeps alike on the heads of the noble and the plebeian.

 

We don’t need to court friends everywhere

Abstainers are not afraid of rising wine price.

 

Paintings and calligraphy are of refined tastes,

But greedy money-grubbing will turn them into merchandises;

Wooded mountains are scenic spots,

But commercial exploitation will change them into markets.

 

Lust is wantonness,

After eliminating it,

Sincerity appears;

Arrogance is perverseness,

After subjugating it ,

Modesty prevails.

 

When there is a wind,

It’s easy to fan a fire.

 

Time flies like an arrow,

Sun and moon move like shuttles.

 

Propitious people weigh their words,

Impetuous people are chatter-box.

 

Gold is not that valuable,

Peace and comfort are much more valued.

 

If my off-springs are better than me,

What’s the use of money-grubbing for them?

If my off-springs are not so good as me,

What’s the use of money-making for their parasitism?

 

Good living lies not in wealth,

Refinement does not depend on dresses.

 

The powerful are conquered by the more powerful,

The vile are subdued by the viler.

 

Less news , less annoyance,

More acquaintances , more troubles.

 

All good words are contained in books,

Most world-famed mountains are seats of temples.

 

One hundred years’ cultivation of virtues has built up great livingness,

Three generations’ education has reared many refined scholars.

 

For parents, ourselves, and children,

We are duty-bound,

Thus realize our lifelong aspirations;

For up-most morals, medium positions and minimum enjoyment,

We are steady-going,

Thus keep our peace and comfort.

 

Maintaining morally clearheaded,

You can dodge devil arrows;

Remaining incorruptible,

You can escape plotting snares.

 

Wealth is ruthless,

The more you value it,

The more it damages you;

Poverty is faithful,

The better you treat it ,

The better it profits you.

 

The associating philosophy is modesty and courtesy,

The family heirloom is loyalty and filiality.

 

No learning, no skill,

Schooling makes you better off.

 

A man marries a woman as his wife,

A woman marries a man as her family.

 

Deep-rooted trees are not afraid of the strong wind,

Erect sun-dial column doesn’t worry about shadow slanting

 

If they know how to give up,

The worldly land is the Land of Purity,

If they haven’t freed themselves from human bondage,

The monks are learned laymen.

 

Accumulating family fortune is like picking up mud with a needle,

Dissipating a family fortune is like sands swept away by the torrent.

Filling the ponds with water can prevent drought,

Tilling the land meticulously can support the family.

 

Lecturing but not doing by yourself

Is void mouthing;

Engaging in your profession but neglecting morals

Is planting ephemeral flowers.

 

The moral courage of self-renunciation

Is the pillar of society,

The concept of commiseration

Is the burgeoning and nurturing roots of life.

 

Early risers have a bright day,

Late risers have a fluster day.

 

Compliance with Heaven

Is the way to survival,

Resistance to Heaven

Is the way to doom.

 

The wind-and-wave disturbances

Develop our mind;

The cold-and-warm relationships

Cultivate our forbearance.

 

Epicurean enjoyment incurs diseases,

Excessive satisfaction results in disasters.

 

The first kings of Shang and Zhou encouraged their liege subjects

To speak bluntly,

They were prosperous;

The last kings of Xia and Shang forced their vassals

To fawn on them,

They were doomed.

 

Intolerant persons are overbearing,

Reckless guys are ambitious.

 

Longevity completes charity,

Early death ends evil.

 

Working with disciplinal persons you will thrive,

Collaborating with riotous persons you will collapse.

 

The rich should be contented with what they have,

The poor should not be craving for what is improper.

 

You can’t invoke fortune,

Worshiping God of Happiness is the way to make it;

You can’t escape disaster,

Ridding yourself of evil attempts is the way to avoid it.

 

Coveting a dekalitre of rice,

You will lose half a year’s food;

Vying for a pig foot,

You will lose a sheep leg.

Unselfishness is the treasure,

It harms nobody.

 

From the painted water waves we feel no wind,

From the embroidered flowers we smell no fragrance.

 

When you are poor no VIP would give you money,

When you are sick some master-hand would tell you medication.

 

I am very fortunate,

I’ll never forget the bounty meal I starved for.

Benevolent deeds make me feel my inferiority,

Evil deeds make me feel like going through boiling water.

 

In the hermit’s woods there are no honor and disgrace,

On the road of morality there are no worldly warmth and coldness.

 

Autumn comes, the mountains turn gracefully golden,

Spring comes, everywhere the flowers send out fragrance.

 

Evil deeds should not be hidden,

Good deeds should not be flaunted.

 

To prevent fire, keep the cooking stove poor in faggots

And the vat rich in water.

 

You can hardly guard against the theft in the family,

It will deprive you of all provisions.

 

Idleness consumes your wealth like mountain collapsing,

Fooling around lays your profession waste.

 

We should not live in style,

And our children should be taught in good method.

You are wealthy but leave your children uneducated,

Your wealth will disappear;

You are noble but negligent of educating your children,

Your nobility will be cut short.

Following Mencius’ mother who moved three times for his better education,

Your children will be renowned like Dou’s five outstanding sons.

Wise and able officials make the country peaceful,

Stupid and unfilial children make parents annoyed.

 

The speaker remembers his words for a short time,

The listener remembers the words for a long time.

Some people just talk about others’ shortness,

Why shouldn’t they measure themselves?

Improper words incur grudge,

So speak less towards kith and kin;

Good books are enlightening,

So let your off-springs read more.

 

Forget about your bestowals,

Bear in mind others’ favor.

Unkindly they amass their wealth,

Surely they will enjoy a little time;

Perversely they run against moral principles,

Quickly they will go to destruction.

 

Don’t contradict the angry man,

Afterwards he will be cool-headed.

 

You can never judge a gentleman by his appearance,

And measure the sea water with a decaliter container.

Under wormwoods

There could be fragrant thoroughworts;

Under Thatched roofs

There could be born dukes and kings.

 

One family is wallowing in wealth

While thousands are grumbling in poverty,

They could plot for their thousandth generation

But the second would meet their doom.

 

Now foxes sleeping on the ruined platforms

Rabbits playing on the dilapidated stages,

This was the scene of songs and dances;

Now cold dew-drops on the yellow flowers

Smoky haze over the green grass,

This was the life-and-death battle-field.

 

With the worldly dusty fog dispelled

There are no fire singeing and water surging in your heart;

With the vulgarity in your mind eliminated

There are singing birds and fragrant flowers before you.

 

Poor and lowly people are self-contained,

Rich and noble people are sorrowful.

 

Let bygones be bygones,

Water spilt is water spent.

 

If a man has no future concern,

He must have present worry.

It’s late to dig your well when you are thirsty,

It’s timely to renovate your house before the rain.

 

Get your due in an upright way,

Never solicit by hook and crook.

 

Don’t wilfully deal with unreasonable people,

You could stop slanders through self-cultivation.

Forbearing a moment’s wrath,

You avoid one hundred days’ worry.

Often you are in trouble because you shoot off your mouth,

Often you are in distress because you are fond of the limelight.

 

Wine can cultivate and also mess up the mind,

Water can float and also overturn the boat.

 

The self-restrained people make everything remedy,

The complaining people always speak daggers.

Return uprightness for enmity,

Dispel rancur with morality.

Earnestness makes us stronger everyday ,

Wantonness makes us more and more ignoble.

Abiding by the laws we are happy everyday,

And violating laws we are always troubled.

 

If you don’t go when it is fine,

You will be weather-bound.

 

Our off-springs have their own fortune,

Better not be their draft horse.

From the immemorial not so many people can live to seventy,

How many springs and falls do you still have?

Make an effort when you should,

Make a retreat when you have to.

Man’s life-span is less than one hundred years,

But people often have one thousand years’ worry.

We should dismount at the bridge,

And not embark if there is a path to walk along.

At the dangerous spot, we must try to evade,

At the critical point, we must not take it leisurely.

 

The flowers of Kingdom Wu’s palaces were buried by the deserted paths,

The officials of Jin Dynasty became age-old knolls.

If fame and wealth could last forever,

The Han River could flow back to higher north-western hills.

The green graves overgrown with weeds pulverized thousands of ambitions;

Awaking from a fancy dream, they felt life like drifting clouds.

 

A man of peaceful mind prefers silence,

The level water is placid.

 

Never buy unmarketable things,

Nor gather the scums.

They don’t regard me as a virtuous man,

But as their enemy.

 

Sip your wine when there are flowers,

And refrain from climbing the tower when there is no moonlight.

 

A man has a few strong terms,

And a tree has a few meters of tough stem.

 

One family has a daughter and one hundred families make proposals,

One horse halts and one hundred horses worry.

 

High mountains hide ferocious tigers,

Great seas receive small tributaries.

 

From here You see things miles and miles away,

But you don’t know you have climbed only one storey.

 

To know the affairs of life, you just taste the bile,

Then you will nod consent with full understanding.

In the depth of favor, you should recoil,

Greatly satisfied, you should stop demanding.

Don’t wait till rumors gaining the ear of them,

And former favoritism turning into hostility.

 

Poor families keeping their floor spotless,

Poor girls neatly doing up their hair,

They may not be gorgeous,

But they are dignified and carefree.

 

House-hold utensils should be simple and clean,

Earthen pitchers are better than gold and jade pots;

Food and drink should be plain and nutrient,

Garden vegetables are the best dainties.

 

Never be a mouther of useless platitudes,

Nor a meddler of others’ business.

So long as we have moonlit lakes,

We don’t worry about where to go fishing.

 

Don’t fawn on gentlemen,

Their dealings are not based on favoritism;

Don’t stir up enmity with villains,

They have their own enemy.

 

Fame and gain are bridles and shackles,

Once you are involved,

Your misfortune incurs chagrin

And your success boosts wild fancies;

Honor and wealth are drifting clouds,

Once you see through them,

Your attainment is not happiness,

And your loss is not sorrow.

 

To ascend high

You must start low;

To travel far

You must begin nearby.

 

The knife sharper is not satisfied with the sharpness,

Not caring his fingers could be hurt;

The wealth grabber never thinks he is wealthy enough,

Not considering the hindrance that could incur.

The fortunate people damage their wealth,

The unfortunate people damage their bodies.

 

A little recuperation could reverse to worse illness,

A little dotage on your wife and children could mean less filialness.

 

For the unengaged, see what they hold dear,

For the successful, see what they hold out,

For the rich, see what they hold in,

For the poor, see what they hold off.

 

Feeling contented you are satisfied,

And then you will not be shamed for life;

Knowing your limits you are unruffled,

And then you will not be humiliated all life.

 

Gentlemen like money,

They obtain it with reason;

Villains profiteer,

They defy Heaven’s Laws.

Ill-gotten gains will be ill-spent,

Hurting arrows will boomerang against the thrower.

Unkind guys are unworthy of association,

Unjustifiable things are unacceptable.

 

Our bodies can be freed from the confines,

But our minds should be kept within limits.

 

Don’t trust one-sided views lest you be duped by the wicked,

Don’t be self-opinionated lest you be swung by emotions.

 

A miss is as good as a mile,

Making us far apart from the goal.

 

Footing it is better than mouthing the order,

Beseeching yourself is better than begging others.

 

Live in affluence and do kindness,

For life not for death.

 

Some people are sentimental when grey hair creeps on the head,

But I feel happy to be aware of it,

For quite a number of people die young,

Unable to see their silver head.

 

 

Thieves are villains,

Sometimes they could outwit gentlemen.

Poor gentlemen still behave well,

Poor villains’ violation knows no limits.

 

Partitions have chinks,

Walls have ears.

Good deeds keep house-bound,

Bad deeds spread on the wings of the wind.

 

Disregarding their social status,

Some people are extravagant in living,

Adored by the philistines , though,

But disdained by the knowledgeable.

 

 

 

On earth, parents are rarely to blame,

Under the sun, brothers are rare companions.

 

Blue proceeds from indigo but carries more hue,

Ice starts from water but gets colder.

 

In family discords,

Good parents -in-law are seemingly slow-witted and deaf,

The good way to get along well,

Is to be daughterly and sonly.

To deal with drastic change in blood relations,

Be calm, not flurried;

To face the decline of family fortune,

Be courageous, not disheartened.

 

As a man’s opportunity disappears,

He is being out of luck.

We should start from the low to achieve higher learning,

And not give up the nearby accomplishment for a far pursuit.

We should live within our income,

Every little makes a mickle.

Gullies are easy to be filled,

Hearts are hard to be satiated.

 

Employing and teaching people

Are opposite in ways,

The former applies their strong points,

The latter attends to their weak points.

Corporal punishment should be done in a face-saving way,

Verbal denouncement should not cut to the quick.

 

The fine rules of officialdom

Are incorruptibleness, cautiousness, and diligentness,

The good knacks of diet

Are slow-chewing, warm-eating, and soft-cooking.

 

 

The fish knows the water being warm or cold,

The spring doesn’t care the flowers blooming or fading.

There is no need to tell male or female snails from their feelers,

And it is futile to make every endeavor to get long or short flint sparks.

 

It is difficult to be as absorbed as the ancient sages,

Fangles could change your devotion.

 

Alleging yourself unmistaken every way,

You are mistaken this way;

Shielding your shortcoming every time,

You increase your shortcomings one at a time.

 

Sweep your courtyard

And keep the inside and outside clean and tidy;

Bolt the doors

And check yourself and make them fast.

 

No problem is too difficult to solve,

You just know how and why;

No man is too hard to deal with,

You just do three self-examinations.

 

To do everything well

You should get advice from three virtuous seniors.

Inquisitiveness makes broadmindedness,

Self-opinion makes bias.

 

Don’t keep luxurious house,

Don’t enjoy extravaganzas.

Contending for a small interest,

You will stray off from the Great Truth.

Keeping yourself within propriety,

You will never feel annoyed.

 

His words are not after your own heart,

He must seek something reasonable;

His words are of your heart

He must seek something unreasonable.

 

We gladly suffer,

We are well together;

We are friendly,

Somebody acts as nobody.

 

Aspire high but aim low,

Be gutty but cautious.

 

The learned are like cereal seedlings,

The unlearned are like overgrown weeds.

 

With the lips gone the teeth feel cold,

With the education lapsing the family will decline.

 

Making friends among your fellow students,

It is the chance of a lifetime;

Having a virtuously intelligent son,

It is the living treasure of the family.

 

You painstakingly obtained wealth,

And now live in idleness,

You gain but also lose;

You enjoy one hundred years’ longevity,

But spend in futility,

You exist long but are short-lived.

 

You are a man of merits in everything,

Be sure you have no demerit at the end;

You are credited by everybody,

Be sure you have not antagonized somebody.

 

It is better to supplement a dipperful

Than to add a mouthy fool.

Just make sure you can set your mind at ease,

Don’t show off your glibness.

 

To be morally best,

Find a good friend first.

If the ferment makes the grains sour,

The distiller can’t get good wine.

 

Rather be flogged at parents’ hand,

Than be cursed from their mouth.

Dogs never cold-shoulder their poor owners,

Children never show any dislike of their mother’s homeliness.

 

Don’t covet after windfall money,

And don’t drink to excess.

 

In progress, think of the possible retreat,

At the commencement, consider the probable renouncement.

 

It matters little to carve a swan like a wild duck,

It matters a lot to paint a tiger like a dog.

 

Good deeds should not be appraised with too high a standard,

Just think what can be done;

Bad deeds should not be condemned with too strict a criterion,

Just think what can be accepted.

 

Enjoying today’s fortune is like lighting the oil lamp,

Burning bright while burning up;

Raising tomorrow’s fortune is like increasing the lamp oil,

Adding more while burning longer.

 

Favor often incurs trouble,

So, shun it early when satisfied;

Failure is often followed by success,

So, don’t give up when suffering setbacks.

 

More associates more expense,

Less cronies, less cost.

A small gift sent from afar,

Though light, yet is heavy with affection.

 

Abusing or killing among kindred

Is like boiling soybeans with bean-stalks;

Sharing the burning pain of moxibustion

Shows the fraternal love of the ancient Chinese.

 

Teaching with your own example,

You will be followed.

Teaching with precepts,

You will be argued.

 

Meagre obtaining is better than amassing,

Thrift is better than reckless soliciting.

 

A word entered the government office,

Nine oxen can’t pull it out.

The word “Justice” is light,

But it can’t be moved by hundreds of people.

 

Two self-assertive persons talk,

They will keep hideously arguing,

If one could only say he is sorry,

Then both will be happy;

Two contradictious persons disagree,

They will keep destructively repudiating,

If one could only say he apologizes,

Then both will be benefited.

 

Good-naturedness brings about auspice,

Ill-naturedness brings about austerity.

Fooling around with playmates degenerates your virtue,

Fooling around with playthings ruins your will.

Fortune favors bright mind,

Disaster prefers gloomy mind.

With a favor bestowed upon us, we feel overwhelmed,

With our errors pointed out, we are pleased.

 

It is hard to pioneer an enterprise,

But even harder to keep it up.

 

Upright man inside 

the house,

The likeminded enters;

Villain inside the house,

The

Wedding Reception Planning: Celebrate Your Wedding in Your Own Unique Style!

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Wedding Reception Planning:

Celebrate your wedding in your own unique style!

Every bride dreams of having a special wedding celebration, it’s the definition of special that may vary from bride to bride. When I got married I knew that I wanted the atmosphere and décor to be a reflection of my own personal style. The big challenge for me was; what was my personal wedding style? Sure, I knew my colors, chocolate brown and scarlet red, two sensuous shades that have always spoken to me. And I was also confident that I wanted our wedding to be a really fun and fabulous night for everyone in general. Now, I know that you are probably thinking, “Who doesn’t want their wedding to be fun?” but what I mean more specifically by a fun and fabulous night is that I wanted our guests to experience that awesome, magical kind of fun that you can’t plan on just any old night out. It was important to me that instead of memories of me cutting a cake, tossing a bouquet and otherwise basking in the spotlight, our guests left with memories of dancing to their favorite music, enjoying delicious and unusual delicacies and reconnecting with old friends and family. I had little other wedding planning ideas past these, but these I was sure of.

I was a very fortunate bride-to- be in that I have experience in event planning, not tremendous experience, but enough to feel that I was starting this process with an advantage. And unique to many other brides, without panic. So I carefully and thoughtfully began, step by step, to formulate the decisions that would define the atmosphere and décor of our wedding in a way that would help it to stand out among the typical cookie cutter wedding reception that we have all come to tire of. I would love to share some of my tips, techniques and advice that allowed me to plan and execute the wedding of my dreams and even enjoy doing so!

#1 Tear Sheets

Congrats! You are engaged! Now run immediately to your favorite newsstand and buy every bridal magazine! WAIT! There are so many more resources out there than every bridal magazine. I suggest buying two bridal mags to get a read on what the trends are in the wedding industry. Are brides going for traditional gowns? What are your contemporaries doing for favors? Find the look of invitation that most catches your fancy. Scour the two magazines you choose for whatever peeks your interest and then tear, tear, tear! Move on then to the interior decorating magazine you picked up with your latest issues of “Modern Engaged Bride-to-be”. And then pour through an issue of “Real Simple” or “Fine Cooking”. These are magazines dedicated to the finer aspects of living and celebrating life and they offer great insight into chic and distinctive ways of hosting a spectacular event. Lastly go through your favorite home catalogues, mine is Crate & Barrel. Tear out the pictures and advice that speak to you and along with the pages that you favored from the bridal mags and lifestyle publications begin a wedding production binder. Spend some time with these images and ideas, envision how you could incorporate them into your ceremony and reception and give yourself a little time to think on it! Before you realize it, your style will begin to rise to the surface.

#2 Book your locations

While you are mulling the images and ideas over and over in your mind, begin making appointments with ceremony and reception locations. While you factor in cost, layout, capacity and availability, keep in mind the mold-ability of the location and how you could incorporate your pages from your production book. Is there a great built in fireplace that you could fill with candles? Is the décor shabby-chic just like your favorite catalogue? Are the draperies inspired by your favorite destination? Make mental notes of the design influences in the space you are checking out, you may be able to play off of those features in a way that makes HUGE impact! Once you find your locations, the remaining decision fall into place much more easily.

#3 Invitations & Dress

Not many wedding planners would likely group together two such major event aspects like stationary and wardrobe, but for style purposes – they work well together. Keep in mind that both areas will complement the style of your wedding but are typically considered separate areas of the event. Well, they are and they’re not. For one, the invitation and dress set the tone of the event. By choosing the best wedding stationary and wedding gown, you can bring together all of the aspects of your wedding style that you have selected. If your décor is a sleek and modern white wedding staged outside under a tent of glowing Chinese lanterns, your perfect invitation, menu and escort card could be printed on delicate rice paper featuring the Chinese ideogram for love. Your ideal dress may be a gauzy and simple boat necked gown cinched sharply and intentionally at the waist with a silk obi. This complete look, preceded by the invite and completed by the décor, harmonizing food and drink and capped off with arrangements of cherry blossoms and votives, will be breathtaking! Pulling off your wedding style is as simple as minding your details and keeping in mind that every decision is an opportunity to make a statement.

#4 Food, Drink, Tunes & Favors

The final details to incorporate into your fabulous event are the guest’s favorite! Perhaps you have chosen a location at a beach club. Your stationary could feature a save the date “flip flop”, a lobster embossed engraved invitation and escort cards of painted seashells. Your dress is a simple silk bias cut sheath, with a gorgeous cowl neck accented with a designer flat thong. Imagine your guests enticed by the scents of lobster hors devours wafting though the air and the whimsical sounds of a steel drum band. You could have your signature “beachcomber” cocktail passed on trays with mini umbrellas in them! This is the making of a memorable event! As your loved ones depart they can take with them his and hers flip flops in the colors of your wedding, wrapped in a beach towel monogrammed with your wedding date and a message of thanks! The trick to adding the best details to any event is to ignore the pressure to make a decision and think of a natural choice. Sure, the websites and magazine might suggest favors for a wedding being hosted at a country club, but those favors wouldn’t incorporate the feel of your event. Use your imagination. If you decide that you would rather have centerpieces of hurricane vases filled with shells and candles rather than flowers than you can make it happen! Shells and candles are easily obtainable at craft stores such as Michaels. Another cute centerpiece idea for a beach wedding is a aluminum sand pail with shovels filled to the brim with garden roses according to your colors. What an impression you would make!

I hope my approach to wedding planning has given you a decent jumping off point. There are a few more areas to tackle, like wedding party plans and transportation… Look for my next article dedicated to bridesmaids, groomsmen and carting them around. There I broach the subjects of shopping for flattering dresses in bulk and censoring the Best Man’s toast!

Good luck, enjoy and follow your heart. It will lead you right to your style!

By: Ellen Preimesberger

http://www.TheWeddingColony.com

Ellen Preimesberger is an experienced event planner who has weathered the experience of wedding planning successfully. In her articles she hopes to impart some of the knowledge she has gained planning events for clients, as well as herself and her family, so that brides-to-be everywhere can enjoy planning their weddings as much as Ellen did hers.

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